


Monkey Business

by Royalsciencenerd



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedic fluff, Episode: s03e19 Plus Est En Vous, F/M, Gen, Lance 'I see a button and I press it' Strongbow, Lance done goofed, Monkeys, Parent Quirin (Disney), Pull the lever Quirin!, Varian is not amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:35:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25497712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royalsciencenerd/pseuds/Royalsciencenerd
Summary: After Lance turns Varian into a monkey, he accidentally breaks the machine.The Varian gets stuck as a monkey and Quirin deals with the fallout fic no one asked for....
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, Quirin & Varian (Disney)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	Monkey Business

**Author's Note:**

> My best friend told me I couldn't write comedic fluff without angst. I was determined to prove her wrong. Spoiler alert... she was right, but I kept it to 4 sentences! :)
> 
> For plot purposes, no one got turned into a monkey except Varian (the machine broke immediately after he was turned). 
> 
> Enjoy! :D

“I’m sorry, what?!?” Quirin stared at the princess incredulously as she explained to him the “situation.”

“But he’s fine. I promise…. I mean other than the whole being a monkey thing…. See?” 

With that Princess Rapunzel stepped out of the way to reveal Eugene sheepishly holding out a monkey towards him. Quirin looked on in confusion. This had to be some sort of practical joke right? The timing wasn’t ideal, given the whole “about to battle Cassandra and Zhan Tiri for the kingdom” plan, but some humor before battle never hurt anybody…. Probably…. Quirin wouldn’t know…. Adira and Hector had never really been ones for humor. Before battle or otherwise.

Quirin’s confusion was quickly replaced with shock though, when the monkey began to squirm, screaming at Eugene to put him down.

“I’m a monkey, Eugene, not a baby. I can walk. PUT ME DOWN!”

“Varian?” Quirin asked hesitantly.

Upon hearing Quirin’s voice the monkey stopped squirming, and turned towards him, looking extremely embarrassed. Monkeys could look embarrassed now? Quirin had no idea.

“Um... yeah…. Hi, dad.”

Eugene set the monkey, no Quirin, not just a monkey, your son, Varian… the monkey, down. Monkey Varian was looking anywhere but Quirin’s eyes, and rubbing his left arm with his right hand. Quirin repressed the urge to groan. Yup, one look at this monkey and he could tell- this was his son.

Quirin pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright. What happened? What did you do?”

Varian stared at him in shock. “ME?!?” before turning to glare at Eugene’s friend- Lance maybe? “Why don’t you ask Mr. ‘I see a button and I press’ Strongbow over there?”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know that the machine would break?!?”

“Lance! I told you NOT to touch! ANYTHING! You know, this is exactly like with the rooster. I leave you alone for 5 seconds and-”

“Alright, alright. Lance- you shouldn’t have touched the monkey button. Varian, we’re going to fix this,” Eugene stepped in between the 2 foot tall monkey Varian and the 6 foot tall Lance. If this monkey were literally anyone else besides his son, Quirin is sure he would have found the newly minted captain of the guard standing in between this confrontation amusing, but alas this monkey appeared to be Varian.

“Oh, yeah, I’m real confident _you_ can fix this! With all _your_ expert knowledge of science, and engineering, and all things Demanitus,” Varian snarked.

“Hey! I figured out the riddle!” Lance yelled back.

“Enough!” Both man and monkey froze as the princess stepped past her boyfriend into the squabble. “Look, Varian. We’re going to fix this. I pro-” Upon seeing his son’s small flinch at that word, Rapunzel changed tactics. Yup, definitely his son. “I just mean, um… we’ll find a way. But right now, we have to face Cassandra and Zhan Tiri. Can you still build the machine if you’re like… this?” Rapunzel waved her hand gesturing to all of his son’s monkey form.

“I think so….”

“Great! Then let’s go take back our kingdom!”

~~~~~~

Quirin was definitely not going to think about how Rapunzel was once again delaying a promise to his son. Even if it was once again because it was in the best interests of the entire kingdom. That hadn’t gone so well last time, and- nope Quirin, not going to think about it.

Besides, Varian seemed to be too busy dealing with all the other newfound problems that apparently came with being a monkey to even think about that himself. So as long as Varian wasn’t thinking about it, neither would he.

The problems began when they all started marching towards the castle. While Varian was never tall to begin with, he now didn’t even reach Quirin’s waist. So Varian found himself struggling between falling behind or almost being trampled by the charging Coronans. Rapunzel had offered to let him ride one of the horses, but Varian had argued that Fidella was already pulling the machine, and they needed Max for the fight. 

Now, with both horses towards the front of the group, and his son once again lagging behind, Quirin found himself slowing down to keep pace with his son. 

“Are you alright, Varian?” he asked, concerned for his son.

“I’m… I’m fine… dad…,” Varian panted for breath. A slick coating of sweat covered his son’s fur. Monkeys could sweat too, apparently. Add it to the list of things Quirin could have been fine going through life without knowing. 

“Varian! Come on!” Eugene called from up front. “As soon as we get there, you have to start building the machine.”

“Yeah…. I’ll-I’ll be right there!” Varian called back. His son took off in a full sprint in an effort to catch up, but even going as fast as his short little monkey legs would carry him, Quirin still found himself easily able to leisurely jog beside him.

“Varian, I-”

“Not now dad, gotta… gotta keep up!”

“But son I was just going to ask if you needed help.”

Varian shook his head and kept running, as if he didn’t have the breath to waste on talking anymore. He probably didn’t. Quirin sighed, and without warning bent over and scooped his son up into his arms.

“HEY! WHAT?!? DAD! PUT ME- PUT ME DOWN!”

Quirin picked up the pace, cradling a squirming monkey Varian in his arms. 

“DAD! PUT ME DOWN! DAD!”

“I will when we catch up with the others,” Quirin replied calmly.

Varian frowned, crossing his arms and resigning himself to his fate. “Fine….”

Quirin looked down at his son and smiled. Varian groaned. “This is soooooo embarrassing.”

Quirin’s smile grew. Yes, his son would be fine. Wounded teenage pride was proof of that.

~~~~~~

By the time they had made it to the throne room, Varian had given up on running, and in a last-ditch effort to save a shred of his dignity, had decided that perching on his dad’s shoulder was his best option.

Varian had hopped down and begun to work on his machine, and next thing Quirin knew, the world went blue, and his consciousness faded to black.

When he regained control of himself, he found the others had been sucked into the portal. Racing to the controls, he pulled the lever, and everyone was expelled from the portal.

Dusting himself off, Varian frowned and muttered, “And to think I thought being a monkey was the weirdest physical form I’d take today.” Turning to see his dad standing at the portal’s controls, Varian smiled and ran over, hugging his father. “Dad! You’re back!”

Quirin smiled and scooped up his son, returning his hug.

~~~~~~

After the battle, the kingdom had celebrated. Varian of course had dived straight into his research trying to figure out how to reverse the whole “monkey problem” as he’d begun to call it.

Eugene and Rapunzel were helping of course, although Eugene insisted that they call this particular issue “monkey business.”

“FOR THE LAST TIME, EUGENE, WE ARE NOT CALLING IT THAT! Haven’t I suffered enough without you making terrible jokes about my unfortunate situation?”

Eugene just smiled and tossed him a banana, which Varian begrudgingly accepted, (but then of course made sure to put the peel right in Eugene’s path later).

Quirin is still not quite sure how they did it, but his son somehow managed to rebuild Demanitus’ monkey device, and turn himself back into human form. And not a moment too soon, in his personal opinion. If he caught his son’s racoon grooming his son’s fur one more time- he might scream. It was beyond weird- and Quirin knew weird.

Black rocks- strange, but in a scary way. Magic glowing hair that’s indestructible- odd, but a little cool. His son turning into some anthropomorphic monkey- nope, that’s where Quirin draws the line on strange magical nonsense thank you very much. 

Quirin was just glad to have his human son back. And if he happened to make sure that that Lance fellow was not allowed near anywhere near his son, or his experiments- well, who could blame him? That was just responsible parenting. 

Walking past his son’s lab, Quirin poked his head in to check on his son. He’d been doing that a lot more lately. Partially due to his new job as “assistant to the royal engineer,” and partially because he just liked to check to make sure his son was okay.

Varian was tightening a screw on some new contraption he had built. “Do you need any help son?” Quirin asked.

“I got it, dad, but thanks.” Varian smiled.

“Alight, just make sure you tighten those screws completely. We wouldn’t want any more monkey business, now would we?”

Varian groaned. “Not you too, dad….”

Quirin smirked. His son was fine. His human son. His teenage human son that was now rolling his eyes and slamming his lab door closed, grumbling about how “Eugene has no idea how many pranks he has in store for him if he keeps telling people that joke. I control the man’s hot shower water he uses to fix his hair- I’ll show him….”

Yup, that’s his teenage human son. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think! :)


End file.
